I am a reluctant seamstress. I took a course in sewing, but it didn't give me a love for it. You might say I have a bias against sewing. This week in EDUC 2250, we were asked to reflect on our biases in people and discuss them in our blogs. I've never really put much thought into it before, but I can see how important it is to recognize my biases. What I discovered is that I have a bias against teenage girls who seem to have attitudes. I feel like I can recognize them from their facial expressions and body language.
Speaking of language, let me get back to sewing for a minute. I learned the "language" of sewing with all those strange terms like "selvedge," "grain," and "bias." In sewing, "bias" means the line on the fabric that is at a 45 degree angle to the grain. You've heard the phrase, "going against the grain," I'm sure. Well, girls with attitudes go against the grain for me. They look at others with that haughty look of contempt and everything about them screams out, "I'm the only one who's important here." They are often rude and disrespectful to authority. They can be sneaky. I remember once when substituting in a school where it is forbidden to use phones during class time, one girl with an attitude pulled out her phone, but tried to keep it hidden from me. When I questioned her, she started in with disrespectful answers. Disrespect is one of the main things that pushes my buttons! So, I have a bias against girls who I perceive have attitudes. What do I do with this bias? How do I handle it in the class setting? Does it serve any use at all?
The bias in sewing is useful. If you cut along the bias, it gives a little more stretch to the fabric. I never was able to master cutting a bias line or using this method to make a better fitting outfit or project. You might say I have a bias against the bias. I'm not sure having a bias against people ever serves a good purpose. What I don't know about these girls is what their lives are like, what's happened to make them this way. Instead of a bias which may later turn into a grudge, I should treat these girls, and everyone for that matter, with respect and compassion. Perhaps, if I took the time to get to know them, I would discover they don't have attitudes after all; that it's all a facade or my misconception of them.
I completely agree that most often our bias are developed from a misconception of others-our lack of understanding. Even if not to the same degree, we were all those teenagers once, perhaps a little too defiant of authority and wrapped up in ourselves. Each of these teenage girls you speak of has a story though, and just like anything else if we put in the effort to get to know and understand those who are different, we discover we are more alike than we originally thought. And being able to relate to one another makes us develop a new found respect, look and things differently, and be much more accepting.
ReplyDeleteWow Sue, your post was exactly my week, last week. We have a click of "mean" girls at our school who have learned to manipulate the administration to their advantage. Even costing a fellow employee to go into early retirement. I strongly agree with you about stressing the importance of mutual respect for teachers. Needless to say, I went home balling my eyes out last Friday from the stress I was having at work and finally feel human today.
ReplyDeleteWhat was so astonishing was I knew these girls, and what they were like in other classrooms and boy, how their attitudes changed when they were around certain individuals.
I think it's important to point out that these girls never gave me any problems until last week. Finally (at my wits ends) I told one of the girls, "I don't think it's o.k. for you to be treating me this way. I think I have always been respectful to you and I think I deserve the same treatment." The girl glared at me and said, "It's not you, I'm just having a bad..." "Day?" I said. "No, more like a bad week" said the girl. It wasn't until we communicated that I understood that there was a storm with in her. Later in the day when I had to teach her again, her gestures toward me had changed and she had even smiled at me a couple of times.
Just like you mentioned earlier, it's important to recognize that our perception of them may be entirely skewed. I think that by taking those few minutes to have a heart to heart with that particular student enabled me to gain ground positively. I felt better about her unique circumstances, but was horribly overwhelmed by the fifteen other girls giving me attitude. Thank goodness for three day weekends!
I could say, by reading your "Phlog," that I have a bias against all Middle School students, not just the girls. I substituted for a Middle School, and I will never go back to it again. The training tools I was giving during my orientation were to say the least, useless. Cell phones were coming out, candy and by far, the boys were the one with the biggest attitudes and fronting. The insults came out and a boy asked me If I wanted to fight. I also had a chance to look at report card because I got to hand them out 6th period. Yikes! Dismal...
ReplyDeleteIt seemed to me that the girls were trying to protect themselves as best they can in classrooms that were about 35-40 students. At least the girls listen to me a little more than the boys.
It's making me reconsider whether I should be doing this at all. Maybe I have developed a bias against education.
Persevere, my dear Colleagues. Don't give up easily! Reflect on and develop your philosophies of education, keeping reality in the forefront. It is such a good thing that we are formulating our philosophies of education and will put those in writing. Then we can use them to decide if dealing with all the issues and difficulties, the disrespect and poor attitudes, the vehement parents and unsupportive administrations is worth it. Although I haven't completely formulated all I want my philosophy to include, I can see the melody of it and I want to persevere for the love of this generation of students, with all their baggage. Underneath the tough, outer skin, there is usually soft, ripe fruit. Sun Ray, as a substitute, it's difficult to develop any sort of bond or relationship, where we can actually see the real person inside, so don't be discouraged by your subbing encounters. Subbing is just the way to open the door for future employment.
ReplyDelete(Sorry this is so late- I'm playing catch-up today from being out of town last week...)
ReplyDeleteI absolutely agree that you just never know what is going on with students under the surface. In one of my posts this morning about prejudice, I referenced two students who confided in me that they knew they needed to stop making excuses and just take responsibility for their own lives. One of those students was a girl who caused me to DREAD class at the beginning of the semester. She had a very intimidating persona; she was a very big girl, rough around the edges and seemed to have a permanent snarl at the world. She would show up late, talk and laugh all through class, and come back late after breaks (if she even came back at all). One day we got to talking, and she said that it was because she was Native American that she struggled so much with keeping on track in school. But then, she interrupted herself and said, "No, I can't keep using that as as excuse for not doing what I need to do." From that point on, she really made an effort to get caught up. She stopped being rude in class, and even treated me with actual warmth. Unfortunately, she was so far behind at the that point, that she could not get caught up enough to pass the class. We had another talk, and she was very understanding that she would have to re-take the class, saying that she knew she needed to buckle down and start taking school seriously.
I have taught different classes since then, and I have not yet had the opportunity to have her in my class again. I do see her regularly in the hall, however, and she is always friendly. She's a totally different person inside than the scary, tough-girl facade that she presents to the world.
You just never know.